When I Am Not Enough

It doesn't happen very often, thank goodness, but today the kids had almost simultaneous meltdowns.  And that made me almost have one myself.  Not because of the stress of it.  (Though it was no walk in the park dealing with two screaming toddlers who were irrational, sobbing, hot and probably would have thrown themselves on the floor if they'd had enough brainpower left over to think of that option.)  It was the painful reminder that sometimes I am physically not enough.

One arm each does not a cuddle make.  Two squirmy toddlers, jostling for a comfortable position near my heart does not soothe anything.  And worst of all, having to share me with the other one just adds insult to injury.  At least that's what Addison's eyes seemed to be saying as they looked at me, pleading, with tears rolling down her face and little arms outstretched toward me, resolutely refusing to come closer because I'm shifting Caden to one side of my lap, so as to make room.  Mommy, yes.  Half of Mommy, no thanks.

And you know, who can blame her?  There are times that a child needs to be comforted like a swimmer needs air.  And that need either gets met or it doesn't.  There really isn't much middle ground, no matter how desperately you try to dance back and forth between the two.  But oh, how I danced...