Do you ever feel yourself rolling right along, feeling like you've got things pretty much under control and your plans in hand... and then life hands you a little more information? Which makes you realize that you missed a turn a few miles back. That's me and motherhood alot of the time.
There have been several times when I wondered if it was time to potty train. The first time, the kids weren't too young. But they were on the young side. The second time was this summer. The third time was two weeks ago. When I KNEW they were ready. They had been ready. It was me who wasn't.
I immediately started doing two things at once: asking why I hadn't listened to myself more and looking desperately for some guidance in doing this thing quick-like.
Let's address the first issue and begin with this thought... Momma almost always knows best, but she's awfully good at paying attention to everything else but herself. Yep, if I had been on a deserted island, alone with my kids, I'd have done this thing at least six months ago. Because I remember sensing a real independence and excitement in the kids, and a general willingness to visit the potty. Somehow in my mind, I knew they might be able but wanted to be more sure...
I worried that I was missing the window if I let it ride a little longer. But goodness knows you don't jump into a freezing river and start swimming if there's a possibility that there's a better way. And I sure didn't want to start without being fairly sure they were "ready". As far as all the most prominent "readiness" signs, they were displaying some but not most. And those were inconsistent.
Also, it just wasn't a good time. We were planning for vacation. We were starting preschool. It seemed like around age 3 was "the age" I kept hearing/seeing. Preschool teachers recommended being at least two and a half, and suggested Christmas break as a great time to try. And, I know no one who has potty trained earlier than two and a half.
Add to that, the "ease" of diapers. Yes, it's a pain to change them. But we can go wherever we want, whenever we want, and not have to worry about public restrooms or watching the kids like a hawk for signs that they have to go. I mean, diapers go up to size 6, so subconsciously I figured we were approaching "the time" but didn't sense a real urgency about it. Until my Mommy voice came back to me. And this time it wasn't so much a whisper.
One day a few weeks back Addison woke up dry. So I carted her off to the potty, like I've done a million times before. She was not interested. Like a million times before. Which I've been chalking up to her being two. But she wasn't even trying, she'd just pop up and say, "No tinkle today!"
Side note: As I recounted this to my mom, she very astutely concluded what my heart had known for months. There was tinkle. And Addison knew it. She also knew that it was her tinkle. Her choice. And that ultimately that diaper would go back on if she waited me out, pitched enough of a fit, or was sweet enough. "No tinkle today" really meant... "Nope-today is not your day Mom, not your day at all." Oh wisdom, how I wish I had more of you in the moment. Not after the fact. But I digress. Now, back to the story...
At this point, for whatever reason, I felt in my gut that it was the right thing, to make a mountain out of that little molehill moment. I told her we were not leaving the bathroom until she tinkled. That I knew she had to. We gave her some privacy by shutting the bathroom door. I acted like it was no big deal for a while. I reminded and explained for a while. And after about fifteen minutes of no action, she stood up and announced that it was time to put her diaper on. I answered back, "Addison you are going to tinkle. You can do it in the potty or you can do it on your body, and that's not going to feel good." Then I looked at her long and hard. You could almost hear the brain cells crackling. After about thirty seconds of me hoping and praying I didn't just buy myself a humongo-mess to clean up, she went all panicky got a deer-in-headlights look. I asked if she felt the tinkle coming, she nodded. So I put her on the potty and it was on.
Mountain climbed successfully.
That little potty incident was like the sun breaking out from behind the clouds. Like a U-turn sign coming into focus. Like my Mommy-sense roaring back to life.
Then I got busy researching, and I went back to a website I'd long-ago filed away. Turns out what I liked about her potty training philosophy before, I LOVE now. Because I see it staring me in the eyes every time I hear, "No - I don't need to go to the potty."
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