P-P-P-Preschool: Part II

So how did the first day go?  Kind of like a hurricane hit us.  But do we dress to impress, or what?!?  (These shots were the best I could do.  It's hard to stage photos of antsy two year olds by yourself.)

Things were going along fine--the kids were excited, we were all dressed and ready on time, and we were walking.  Hand in hand, into our first day of preschool...  when Caden caught sight of the slide and turned out to be none-too-pleased that the playground wasn't up first on the schedule.  He was pulling against my hand, crying so hard he couldn't talk, and doing the wet-noodle thing.  Addison just looked at him the whole time and waited while I pulled off the preschool highway and scooped him up.  Just inside the door I tried to set him down and let him walk.  No dice.  So finally, with Addison in one hand, two bags thrown over my shoulder and a crying Caden on my hip, we made it to the classroom door.  And despite his tears, we went through our goodbye routine.  I handed the bag to the teacher and said, "Have a great day, I'll see you after school!"  Then I kissed his teary face and handed him over.  Rinse and repeat with Addison, who was now looking worried.  I dared not make eye contact, but I did see Miss Laura holding a crying Caden on her lap as I made my exit.  The crying was over in a couple of minutes (because you know I hung out at the end of the hallway to hear) and I went on my way.  I had passed through the hurricane and into the eye.

Quick sidenote:  While I didn't exactly go on my merry way--I can see the lights of Merrydom just over the horizon.  Once we all get used to this preschool deal, I just might have a Merry, Merry Me parade!  While they were in preschool, I had a meeting, went to the library, the bank, Lowe's, the grocery store, home to unload and prep lunch and still had plenty of time to check my email before heading back to pick the kids up.  Merry indeed!

The thing is, the eye wall and the worst of it was yet to come.  Playground is the last part of the kids' preschool day, then they come in to wait for dismissal.  But when I arrived, the kids were still on the playground.  And there was a crowd of parents waiting nearby.  Which my observant children did not overlook.  They were at the fence, searching the faces for me.  I tried to hide behind a rather large man in the mix, but somehow old eagle eyes spotted me.  Caden came in from the playground crying again.  This time of course, for the Mommy who had ducked him and had disappeared inside to wait as she'd been instructed to do.  He was still in tears when he spotted me through the window in the door.  But thankfully he got it together pretty quickly and we made our way home.  Sadly, the peace was only momentary.  As soon as we pulled into the garage he started wailing about wanting to watch "Bob the Builder".  And he most definitely did not want to get out of the car.

When I finally got him out of the car he clung to me like one of those monkey pencil toppers that were popular when I was a kid.  Seriously, I think I could have let go and he'd have stayed there.  Glued to my side.  But I managed to get things back on track, courtesy of the special snack that Miss Pat sent home!!  A mix of tiny little bears (that's this week's theme), cookies (the bear's snack) and marshmallows (the bear's pillow) with a label explaining that it was to go with some "milk before a nap on the first long day of MCC."  Yes, three bites of lunch = three little bits of their special snack.  And that = alot of lunch eaten in a hurry.  Bless you Miss Pat and Miss Laura.  You saved lunch.

All in all, our first day of preschool was a success.  Despite the bumps.

I even remembered my former professional self for a little while...  Can you believe it?  I am now volunteering with the monthly newsletter production at the kids' preschool.  And my meeting was with the folks that are handing off that task to me.

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Dear Caden and Addison,

I didn't show it this morning, but my heart was just as nervous as yours.  Leaving you at preschool isn't like letting someone else watch you for a little bit while I'm gone.  It's letting them teach you, letting someone build a relationship with you, letting your little hearts and minds be exposed to other people's thoughts, ideas, routines and words.  It's letting you outside my hedge of protection. And there's the real truth of it all babies.  I can't protect you all the time.  You need to know how to be--with others and without me.  Oh, and some more truth?  I need to know how to be-- myself again and without you.

Today Mommy had her very first meeting in three years.  I used to do like twelve meetings A DAY.  But after all this time at home with you, just you, I scarcely remembered how to do it.  I figured I should bring a notepad and pen, and maybe brush my teeth.  I even wore my hair down and opted for capris instead of pajama pants.  Aren't you proud?!?  I think it all went pretty well actually.  I took notes, asked smart sounding questions, and walked out of there with a pretty big to-do list.  Just like I used to!    

What a funny feeling, to remember...  Me.  Not snack times, laundry or who still needs to poop this morning.  Me.  The person that used to exist before you.  I hardly remember her, but she's still around. Buried under all the goldfish and toys I suppose.  But there.

I think that preschool might actually be a really good thing for us, loves.  And while I don't expect it will be all unicorns and rainbows, I have an idea that it will be really, really good.  Yes babies, the truth and preschool shall set us free just a little bit.  All of us.

Love,

Mom