Monday, June 18, 2012

I Think I'm Alone Now


What's it like being alone?  I guess I don't have much experience in that department in the last two years.  Not being really alone anyway.  The bathroom doesn't count.  Neither does sleeping or showering.  I mean, by myself with no kids or husband on the premises for more than thirty minutes.  Just me and an empty house.  Well, I'll be honest.  It's eerily quiet and stone-cold still.  Two things I'm not real used to.  

But in the last ten days, I got some ah-mazing opportunities to be alone.  (Check back soon for all the details on where I went and how the kids did.)  So what did I do with my quiet stillness?  I paid bills, clipped coupons, did wash, sent letters, watched exactly one tv program and caught up on blogging.  Oh yes, I lived large in my temporary singleness.  I had complete thoughts, organized and checked off to-dos.  I caught up a teensy little bit.  I was not a slave to nap time.  I didn't worry about waking the babies or what was for breakfast.  And I confess, I rather loved it.  Not so much because time was mine.  Or because of what I accomplished.  I loved it for the reminder...  

Bedrest makes you appreciate the freedom of movement.  And wanting makes you appreciate having.  Just like alone times remind me of how much I treasure togetherness.   Well, that and they feel like a deep breath of pure oxygen after swimming underwater for too long: )  Every so often, a little respite of still silence helps me refocus on the fact that despite all that it demands of me, I want to be smack-dab in the middle of all the noise, action and needing.   That I have always felt called to that place.  And that it is my deepest honor and joy to reside there.  

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